this is connecting far too many dots re my toxic post college relationship where i was surely a mommy serf!! crucial alignment chart.
also helena i would say goes from mommy tyrant with tina to baby serf in her "poor" days with the gambling lady and documentary lady (can't be bothered to remember or look up their names).
Lol so glad it resonates and also sorry bout your toxic relationship, though I suppose it’s a rite of passage for us all! And thank you for your Helena insights -that tracks
I love this so much because it reminds me of taking relationship quizzes in magazines like YA as a teen (but make it queer). It also reminds me of the early days of Autostraddle and other lesbian blogs.
Plus, I once whined to my lesbian therapist that “I don’t want to be the Tina; I want to be the Bette.” Which made us both laugh but also is the closest I’ve come to describing how fucking frustrating it is to be an unpaid writer/ lesbian stay-at-home mom.
I am a total mommy serf. And I don’t really want to be a mommy tyrant either. Funny, that so many comments are about wanting to move out of quadrants.
We need a healthy framework. Like, you know how the ennigram has healthy/unhealthy versions of each personality tendency and how to move out of coping mechanisms and into the self-actualized versions of your type.
I am a mommy tyrant that is dying to be a baby serf but somehow keeps finding baby sefs pretending to be tops (I do want to explore where the top/bottom spectrum fits into this chart)
ok interesting question. my take is that all quadrants of the chart can top or bottom, but they will each have their own style of doing so. like baby tyrant topping will be a different vibe than mommy serf topping, and same goes for bottoming. baby serfs are mostly not gonna be good tops tho, unless an alter ego comes out. i wish you luck in your quest <3
OG L Word cast:
Bette - Mommy Tyrant of the highest degree
Tina - Baby Serf
Shane - Baby Serf
Alice - Baby Tyrant
Dana - Baby Serf?? Dana is hard for me bc she never felt like she was truly realized
Kit - Mommy Serf, Baby Serf romantically
JENNY - Baby Tyrant of the highest degree
i should put these in a proper chart but im literally in bed with you about to watch The Real L Word and i cant put it off for a moment more
100% true & I’d like to throw in some other characters for more mommy representation:
Carmen - mommy tyrant-serf cusp
Papi - mommy serf
Jodi - mommy tyrant but closer to center than Bette
Joyce - mommy tyrant
Hundo p especially Carmen as True Mommy and Jodi as a healthier Bette. But the real question is what about HELENA PEABODY.
I'm realizing I also forgot Max who is of course Mommy Serf. Lotta serfs on The L Word surprisingly!
this is connecting far too many dots re my toxic post college relationship where i was surely a mommy serf!! crucial alignment chart.
also helena i would say goes from mommy tyrant with tina to baby serf in her "poor" days with the gambling lady and documentary lady (can't be bothered to remember or look up their names).
Lol so glad it resonates and also sorry bout your toxic relationship, though I suppose it’s a rite of passage for us all! And thank you for your Helena insights -that tracks
I love this so much because it reminds me of taking relationship quizzes in magazines like YA as a teen (but make it queer). It also reminds me of the early days of Autostraddle and other lesbian blogs.
Plus, I once whined to my lesbian therapist that “I don’t want to be the Tina; I want to be the Bette.” Which made us both laugh but also is the closest I’ve come to describing how fucking frustrating it is to be an unpaid writer/ lesbian stay-at-home mom.
I am a total mommy serf. And I don’t really want to be a mommy tyrant either. Funny, that so many comments are about wanting to move out of quadrants.
We need a healthy framework. Like, you know how the ennigram has healthy/unhealthy versions of each personality tendency and how to move out of coping mechanisms and into the self-actualized versions of your type.
haha what a lovely compliment! thanks for reading <3
I am a mommy tyrant that is dying to be a baby serf but somehow keeps finding baby sefs pretending to be tops (I do want to explore where the top/bottom spectrum fits into this chart)
ok interesting question. my take is that all quadrants of the chart can top or bottom, but they will each have their own style of doing so. like baby tyrant topping will be a different vibe than mommy serf topping, and same goes for bottoming. baby serfs are mostly not gonna be good tops tho, unless an alter ego comes out. i wish you luck in your quest <3
This is so real lmao. I'm a mommy serf when dating but in friendships I'm a tyrant (either mommy or baby)
Okay. So I love this!