Never Fear the Three Horsemen of the Lezpocolypse

My medium-hot takes on the Fletcher/JoJo/Billie of it all

Note: I really went back and forth on whether to write about to write about the Boyfriend Events happening with Fletcher, JoJo Siwa, and Billie Eilish, and by the end of reading it you may conclude that I am a hypocrite for having done so. Alas, I discovered that I have something to say, so I’m saying it. I am, however, gatekeeping this one for paid subscribers only. Pony up 5 bucks if you want to read my hot takes [category: not biphobic] on these three searching souls. Or send me a screenshot of a new donation of any amount made to a fundraiser for people in Gaza or for groups fighting ICE/deportations, and I will comp you for a month!

If you frequent the lesbian internet, you may be aware that in recent weeks, three different young queer celebrities have announced that they are dating men (or have been papped doing such). I’m talking, of course, about Billie Eilish, JoJo Siwa, and Fletcher. In the time since, the internet has proliferated with takes about this, most of them bad. Luckily, I have the first and only correct opinion on this matter!